Time is amazing. It allows us to literally live life and everyday do or not do a million things. It also heals ailments, whether physical or of the heart. Turns out then when i go through a breakup there are a few things that I don’t let myself do because I know it’s unhealthy. There are also a lot of things that i stay away from so that they don’t trigger either sad emotions or the wrong kind of thinking for i then just wallow in self pity about how i am going to be forever alone.
With the last guy that I dated i had started watching Parks and Rec and had gotten thru 6 seasons with him and was utterly hooked. We’d watch together all the time and since we broke up I hadn’t been able to watch alone because it just reminded me too much of the time we had together. (It’s amazing how the little things really do affect you the most)
Proud to say that i was finally able to watch the show tonight and all is well. I think i’m well over “it” but still don’t want to see him at any social engagement in the near future. If any event that i’m invited too says he’s going i don’t go or even think of going. I know that it is silly but i know myself and it would bother me to see him just exist happily without me. It sounds super weird to write that but it’s how i feel. I’m healing slowly and am in a better place each day 🙂
Time really does heal all!
As someone who claims to be amazing, I am also someone who is extremely aware of my flaws. In no particular order, here a few:
- I’m very sensitive
- I can also be extremely cold hearted and cynical in an attempt to hide/combat my softer side
- I can be too straight forward — sometimes to the detriment of politeness
- I procrastinate like no other person you’ve ever met
- I’m selfish
- I’m impulsive
- I’m stubborn
- Despite having so many feelings, it’s very hard for me to express them
- I drink too much diet coke
- I too often focus on the present to the detriment of the future
Writing these down is an exercise to further acknowlede that in order to be a better person you have to first admit that there are things to work on. I will never be perfect, nor should that be the goal but I know that I can be better. I can learn to communicate more effectively; I can learn to think more of others; I can be a better friend, daughter, person.
Any tips on becoming more mindful are welcome!
Last we spoke (six months ago -_-), I mentioned that I had just accepted a new position! Turns out it has been one of the best decisions I could have ever made. I absolutely love what I do. I could have done with not having to start at the bottom of the totem pole, but alas it keeps my ego in check.
I work for a public relations agency that specializes in enterprise technology. It’s a wonderful combination of extremely nerdy, techy subjects and the fuzzy writing, strategy and brainstorming that I enjoy. I think it suits me very well and I’m happy to report that I have zero inkling of ever wanting to do anything else 🙂 I will admit that I’ve let my life become all about my JOB. I talk about it incessantly, and yes, it’s annoying.
I’ve let this new job consume my life for a few reasons:
- It’s a bitch of a commute so I feel like I have little time to do fun things during the week
- It’s easier to say you have work to do than put in the effort to see friends
- I suck at dating and am tired of meeting the same kind of guy over and over again
- Disclaimer: I know not all men are like this, but most are so noncommittal and aloof that I literally can’t even.
- yes, “literally can’t even” is a phrase that I use in all seriousness
- I am lazy
After a few months of getting into the groove of work and over the hump of the holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years) I decided to be more social. I’ve been actively accepting all invites to hangout with friends and have even made some great new friends at work. AND I decided to hop back into the dating game with two feet. This is San Francisco, so of course I signed up for some dating apps. Let’s not get crazy and actually meet people IRL, who does that anymore?
Next post: More On Dating!
I was extremely excited to start my blog and share my stories but life has a way of getting away from you! I quit my job June 31st, and enjoyed a wonderful month of birthday celebrations all through July, and once I actually dove into job hunting it overtook my life. That basically sums up my disappearing act. I have some tidbits to share with you as I begin to acclimate myself to normal life again.
Let me share the secrets of unemployed life:
- It is not glamorous in the least bit.
- Having the ability to sleep all day loses its appeal after a couple of weeks.
- However, the ability to take a nap at 3pm will NEVER lose its appeal.
- Job hunting is way more than a full-time job!
- No matter how used to rejection you are, it can still take a toll on you.
- Interviews were created for the sole purpose of making you learn way too much about a company and evaluating the few social skills you haven’t lost while unemployed.
- It really is all about who you know. It at least guarantees a personalized rejection, as opposed to the abyss of silence that is the job application world.
I have finally accepted a new job and I think that means the end of my unemployment, but more on that later.
For the purposes of saying everything that is on my mind and expressing deeply personal experiences, this blog shall be anonymous. All of the stories, anecdotes, and information (minus names) will all be 100% true.
This blog is the tale of my life living in San Francisco with intermittent stories of growing up in the midwest. I’m a twenty something female who thinks her opinions are important. Hence, the need to self scribe them on the internet forever.
I hope you enjoy my musings and thoughts.